Jealousy… that green-eyed monster that loves to rear its ugly head when you’re the most unwelcoming of it. But, just like feelings of love, passion, hatred, and anger, jealousy is an emotion that’s hard to control.
So, instead of trying to change your life to remove all feelings of jealousy altogether (which is extremely difficult if not impossible), why not learn how to manage it?
There are actually several different strategies that can help stop jealousy from ruining a relationship, but these strategies involve both partners. Are you and your partner ready to work together to remove these unwelcome feelings?
Why Does Jealousy Occur in Relationships?
This is a loaded question! There are so many different reasons why jealousy can occur in a relationship. Some of the most common reasons include:
- Insecurity: like when you believe your partner is too smart, attractive, and/or funny to settle for someone like you
- Attachment Issues: for example, if you grew up with an insecure attachment to a primary caregiver, prompting you to feel the need for reassurance and closeness today
- History Repeating Itself: such as if you grew up in a household where one or both parents constantly cheated
- Possessiveness or Desire for Control: for example, if you’ve asked your partner to spend the entire weekend with you but they opt to see their friends or family instead
- Unrealistic Expectations: this could be when you have core beliefs about what it means to be in a relationship, such as that a partner would never be attracted to someone else (this is not realistic)
8 Ways to Stop Jealousy from Ruining a Relationship
1. Always Communicate
We know that communication is healthy in any relationship, whether it’s romantic, platonic, or other. And when it comes to jealousy, there’s simply nowhere for this horrible feeling to go unless it’s talked about.
Take the time to sit down with your partner and talk about what triggers your jealous feelings. Discuss how you feel, if you believe that your jealous feelings are coming from your own insecurities or if you feel they’re valid, and allow your partner to share their perspectives and thoughts too.
2. Establish Boundaries
It’s easy to become a “detective” today with so many social media platforms and online search capabilities. Regardless, boundaries are essential in any relationship.
You really don’t need to check your partner’s phone, computer, desk drawer, or coat pocket every day (or even at all!). In fact, this behaviour is unhealthy. Instead, sit down and talk to your partner about your negative feelings.
3. Get to the Root of the Jealousy
Just like we discussed some of the most common reasons for jealousy, such as having attachment issues or being exposed to cheating in your childhood, it’s important for you to do some introspection. Sit down, either with yourself or a professional (even a friend if you prefer), and try to uncover the root of your jealousy.
But of course, jealousy could be brought on by outside factors, such as finding suggestive messages or being informed of infidelity from an outside source. In this case, instead of sitting with your jealousy or plotting up an elaborate plan, talk to your partner.
4. Make Time for Intimacy
For many people, physical intimacy has the ability to give one a boost in confidence and to make them feel needed, adored, and appreciated—not to mention all the benefits of physical touch.
In this way, making time for intimacy can reduce those feelings of jealousy, giving you the validation and closeness that you seek. You could even schedule your intimacy, like Friday evenings for example, if that makes you both feel comfortable.
During your intimate time, focus on loving actions that are slow and seductive, such as sensual massages, or stimulating erogenous zones to promote blood flow and increase desire for one another. And when it comes to more intense sessions, you could use wellness products that will heighten your levels of arousal, making them even more passionate.
5. Realise that Some Jealousy in a Relationship is Normal
There’s not one person in the world who doesn’t know what it feels like to be jealous, so don’t be too hard on yourself when you experience this emotion.
And when it comes to relationships, the green-eyed monster may bubble to the surface now and again, but instead of welcoming it, take the time to gently kick it to the curb. There are much better ways to deal with jealousy than to cause a scene or to think of negative scenarios. Taking the time to talk with your partner to clear things up, and continuing to trust each other will help you form better coping mechanisms, and to work together as a team in your relationship, which is much better than being consumed with jealousy.
6. Work on Trust
When there’s an atmosphere of trust, it’s almost like a piece of armour protecting you from big feelings of jealousy. But in order to have ultimate trust in a relationship, it would need to be experienced and felt by both partners.
For example, both need to be faithful, committed, and honest. If there is trust in a relationship, both partners will feel no need to lie about where they’ve been or who they’ve seen.
7. Love Yourself!
You’re the most important person in your life. And while your partner is someone entirely special, no one will look after yourself the way that you do. In fact, the way you treat yourself says a lot about how you feel and behave.
In other words, if you’re kind to yourself, know that you’re worthy of great love, and are an excellent companion, there will be less feelings of insecurity, for example.
Being kind to yourself also means making time for self intimacy. After all, giving yourself that elusive climax glow and rush of happy hormones is like a repellent for that green-eyed monster.
8. Listen to Your Critical Inner Voice
Listening to your inner voice, just like that of your ‘gut feeling’, can be a very important experience, as it can warn you of potential danger, give you advice, and guide you in difficult situations.
But sometimes, your critical inner voice may influence you to take drastic measures that could hurt you in the long run. It could lead to self-sabbage, or even lashing out at people you love.
When you lash out at your partner, it could stir up feelings of distrust and fear, and might prompt them to become closed off and less open about their feelings, thoughts, and actions. Take time to breathe and to really think before doing anything you may regret later on.
So, while we know that jealousy is a normal human emotion that everyone has or does experience, the trick is to learn how to manage and work with your jealousy within a relationship to find the root cause, rather than against it. And to do that, it all begins with healthy communication with your partner.
Some Tips to Help You Search for a Date and More
When it comes to dating, everyone seems to have an opinion. But how do you go about finding the right person for you? Well, there is a backpages alternative. You can still have access to searches that will find a date that is local to you, shares your particular interests and will prove a perfect fit for your personality. Here are some tips to help make your search a little easier.
Where to Look
There are a lot of places to look for dates these days. Effective search sites that are similar to looking at classified ads, online dating sites, apps, and social media are just a few. But which one is right for you? It depends on who you’re looking for. Finding that special person, by whatever means, matters in the end. Although, you can make it easier for yourself by knowing the tricks of how to find your ideal date from off the internet.
If you’re just dipping your toe into the dating pool, ads or online dating sites might be the way to go. Dating sites are generally pretty easy to use and you can see a lot of potential matches all at once. Just be sure to read the reviews before you sign up for anything, to avoid any nasty surprises. The same with ads. It is necessary for everyone to be honest about themselves and what their intentions might be.
The first thing is to find a good, reputable, and reliable, place to search. Then you will need to think about what kind of person you are looking for in terms of convenience, compatibility, and so ultimately the chance of love. You can use dating sources of all kinds to achieve the result, although some will prove more effective in finding the right people than others.
Thinking locally is more likely to turn your prospective date into something that at least has a chance of becoming a more permanent relationship if that is what you want. Steer away from the impractical. Dating sites tend to be global, so you want to search where it is possible to find local dates. Always match a search to your area in the first instance before matching with the type of person you could share a sense of humor or direction in life with.
Apps and Social Media
If you’re looking for something a little more serious, there are apps out there which might be better suited for you. They tend to attract people who are looking for long-term relationships.
And if you’re not quite sure what you’re looking for, social media is always an option. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are all great places to start. Just be sure to set your privacy settings accordingly!
Once you have found someone from a search, it is time to start thinking about preparing for your date. This includes thinking about what you will wear, as well as getting yourself mentally and emotionally ready.
You want to make sure that you look your best on the date, but you also want to be comfortable. Pick out an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself and that you know will impress your date. But don’t forget to be yourself! Being genuine is always the best policy. That is before and during a date.
As for mental and emotional preparation, try to relax and go on the date with an open mind. Remember, you’re just getting to know this person. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or the situation. And if things don’t work out, don’t be discouraged. There is plenty of other fish in the sea, as they say. And there can be no better way of catching one than using the net to help you. The internet, that is.
Taking all of this into account will help you search for a date effectively and help you to prepare for it too. Just relax and enjoy the process. After all, finding love should be fun!
How to Bring Back the Spark in Your Relationship?
There’s no way you can define love, but the familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach when your partner walks up to you is love. Yes, we are talking about the butterflies and all the messiness that new relationships are known for!
But what happens when the honeymoon period ends and the spark starts to fade? Healthy long-term relationships are one of a kind, and wanting such a relationship is a dream for most people. The reality, however, is so different, filled with busy schedules, a lack of space, and a lot of monotony.
So then, what really happens when the love dust in your relationship finally settles down? Scroll down and find out how to bring back a spark in your relationship!
Bringing Back the Spark in Your Relationship: Things to Do!
Without wasting any more time, let’s find out how to bring back the spark in your relationship? Let us figure that out for you while you keep reading and planning – if you don’t plan it out now, there’s no way you can get back that spark you are so desperately seeking!
Impromptu Movie Night:
Movie nights are always a great idea, but what if you make it a little impromptu. Don’t have to plan anything – simply ask your partner to spend some time with you and organize the perfect movie night – download something romantic or even steamy from thenewpiratebay.org and set the mood just right!
The decor also contributes to the perfect movie night. So get hold of a few fluffy cushions and some snacks that both you and your partner prefer, and prepare a comfy setting for the perfect date night with your favorite movie on the screen – have a memorable movie marathon and cuddle with your partner!
Nothing Better Than a Weekend Getaway:
Nothing spells spark better than a weekend getaway. Our schedules make it impossible to disappear on long vacations but the weekend is always there for romantic getaways – two days away from the world with your partner seems like such a romantic idea, doesn’t it? Such trips will give you the space to reconnect and rediscover all the romantic aspects of your relationship.
If you haven’t been out for a day or two with your partner recently, this is the perfect opportunity to do so! Head over to somewhere close by and spend a few days together – it will teleport both of you to the first few months of the relationship, and you guys will come back from the trip with a whole lot of spark!
Flirty Texts Never Went Out of Style:
Flirty texts honestly never went out of fashion, and the faster you understand that, the better for you! If you have stopped sending your partner flirty messages, then you really need to resume doing the same. Flirting is pretty healthy – so don’t just flirt with your partner, encourage your partner to flirt with you as well.
Who said that you could only flirt before your relationship started? Yet, flirting in relationships is quite common and one of the secrets behind a long-term, healthy relationship. Teasing is always associated with sparks, and if you don’t tease your partner, who will? Similarly, when your partner teases you, respond with flirty behavior for the best results.
Expressing Love Can Make Things So Much Better:
The worst thing you can do to your relationship is to stop expressing love for your partner. Sometimes, we don’t even notice when you or even your partner stops expressing love or similar feelings in the relationship. So make sure that you are not missing out on showering love and a whole lot of affection on your partner!
The right amount of love keeps the breakup at bay in the case of relationships. It doesn’t matter how old your relationship is or how long you have known your partner – what matters is the effort and consistency you display by simply choosing to express some love and a lot of affection regularly.
And It’s a Wrap!
Now that you have a fair idea about bringing back the spark in your relationship, what are you even waiting for? Plan a movie night today and a romantic getaway this weekend, and never stop sending flirty messages to your partner, especially if you and your partner spend a lot of time away from each other.
In the meantime, never forget to express your feelings and all your love to your partner on a daily basis. While doing all this, let us know your thoughts and experiences (if any) of the same in the comments below.
6 Tips to Plan a Perfect Romantic Date
Whether you’re looking for your first date or want to spend some quality time with your long-term mate, planning the ideal date can be tricky. You can directly ask your partner and know about their favorite date location, but what’s the fun in it? Your loved one wants to be surprised by your efforts, so to help you with that I’ve compiled some tips for you.
1. Check Your Budget
Although love is free, your dates are not. Ideally, you shouldn’t burn a hole in your pocket for a date, but it’s also a bad idea to go cheap when trying to impress someone.
You need to set a budget for a romantic date with your partner. Set aside some money from your monthly budget. This will keep you from going overboard while still allowing you to have fun.
Furthermore, budgeting your dates will undoubtedly force you to consider more exciting activities. Finally, it will remind you what matters is not how much money you spend but the quality time spent together.
2. Come Up with an Idea
After you are done making a budget for your date night, it is to come up with a fantastic date night idea. This, ironically, is sometimes the most challenging step. It can be extremely overwhelming to decide what to do on your date night but try not to overthink it.
Remember that quality time, spontaneity, and learning something about or with each other are the essential ingredients for the perfect date. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as these elements are present.
But, if you’re looking for suggestions, here are our two cents: Some of the most memorable dates are sporting events, grand openings, and concerts. You can also plan a Netflix night with some candles and good wine at your cozy home.
If you are still out of ideas, check out https://www.urbanswan.com/. It provides you with unforgettable date experiences.
3. Coordinate Schedules
You and your date must agree on a time that is convenient for both of you. This will involve adjusting your work schedule as well as any other activities you may be involved in your day-to-day life. Discuss your availability with your date to determine when you will both be available.
According to studies, if you plan something ahead of time, add it to your calendar, and commit to it, you are more likely to follow through. Make sure to hold each other accountable. Even when planning a date night, keep in mind that you are a team.
4. Create an Itinerary
If you’re planning a more complicated date night with multiple activities, outlining everything you’ll need to plan for can help you stay organized. So, make a checklist ahead of time and then double-check it the day before to stay organized.
Your planned date night does not have to be perfectly timed, but you should make a foolproof plan that nothing interferes with the time you want to spend together. It is always better to be safe than sorry.
5. Plan the Logistics
On the day of your date, make sure you plan out the logistics. Nothing makes a better first impression than playing chauffeur.
Ensure your vehicle is in good working order, especially if you intend to pick up your date. Remember that nothing ruins a date faster than a car breakdown.
Make absolutely sure your date experience goes off without a hitch. If you have kids, contact a babysitter or a family member to look after them. Stay prepared and have a backup plan to ensure that you keep your date.
6. Put Away Your Phones
The best part about a fantastic date night is the quality time spent together. So, to make the most of your time together, remove all distractions, i.e., your phone. Turn the phone to silent or, better yet, off.
Clear out everything that needs to be done ahead of your date. Respond to all emails, send texts, and finish up any work before your date. Getting rid of the things that draw our attention away from your partner demonstrates that you are more invested in them. This focused attention can be precious for you two to connect.
Over to You…
Remember, date nights are essential for consistently strengthening your relationship. So, always give your full time and effort in planning. If you follow these tips, you should be able to plan your perfect romantic date.
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